Sometimes...

I feel that I am so ugly! I look at myself in the mirror and I see a pretty girl, but when I go out into the world I just feel so ugly, unattractive and unwanted! I never pull any boys! No boys ever try to talk to me... I look my best at all time but I feel invisible! I dont know what it is! I hate that people only like me for my body shape, what about my face? Telling me that my body is beautiful doesnt make me feel good, it disgusts me on so many levels! Its been a year that ive been single, going on two when May comes back around! I love being single by all means, but sometimes I wish I had one that I could call my own! I have nothing near... I sometimes wonder why dont boys want to talk to me? Is it that im dark skinned? Is it that I look mean? Is it that im ugly? Too small? Too big? What is making no one talk to me? I hate being the center of attention, but I get no attention from boys at all! My friends tell me im pretty, the last boy that told me I was beautiful was my friend K.Burns! That doesnt count! Sometimes I just want to cry because of the way I feel! I mean like if I got a head nod and a smile I would be happy, but I dont get that at all! Sometimes I dont even want to go out in public because I feel that I am a beast! I sometimes compare myself to other females... What do they have that I dont? And these are the females that I know for a fact that I look better than! I hate this! My grandma always told me I was a beautiful chocolate girl... I use to believe that! Now im just like whatever! Hearing it from the same people, the words go in one ear and out the other! Hearing it from someone new, it sticks forever... Builds up my self-esteem, which use to be very high by the way! As these days go by it goes down even more! I want my high school sweetheart, but thats all in fairy-tales! I always tell everyone that I never want to get married because I feel that I am so ugly and no one will want me! I hate this feeling, I wish it would go away because its eating me up deep inside! My friends think I be playing when I say I dont pull! I be dead ass serious! No one wants me...